UD: C04 - CN Translations
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UD: C04

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This is Professor Xiao's daughter


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C04_This is Professor Xiao's daughter.png

This novel was posted on cntranslationss [dot] blogsp0t [dot] com, by anasiana. If you're not reading it there, you get what you get  ̄へ ̄)


It was early October, however the weather was still quite warm. I didn't have much of an appetite since morning, but upon giving it a second thought I decided to have a bowl of cheap and affordable tofu pudding—the sweet kind.

From the look of Qiao Damai's face, it was clear he was struggling to accept it. So, for a long time, he just kept staring at his phone, seeming as if he wanted to burn a hole through the little device's screen, then mumbled: "This is impossible… This can't be… I, I clearly felt that there was some chemistry between us…"

In response Li You looked at me, then said: "Can't you act a bit more mature?"

  ——Qiao Damai: Would you like to be my girlfriend?

I have to admit, under my influence, she has more than perfected the skill of rolling her eyes at me; and on the plump little face of a babe, the act of eye rolling was indescribably cute.

  ——Qiao Damai: Would you like to be my girlfriend?


So when I was at the cafeteria, sitting by the window and simply enjoying looking at the coming and goings of the couples who came to eat breakfast with one another, Qiao Damai came up to me and told me he may have fallen in love with Xiao Huaisu. Thus, in that very moment, I lost control and spat the spoonful of tofu in my mouth directly on his his forehead, making him wipe away the glob I just shot at his face with disgust before he griped: "What the hell is your problem?"

From the sound of things, it seems like a few people had all just walked in together, including one who then said in amazement: "Professor Xiao, is this your daughter?"

But it doesn't matter to me if he believes me me or not, I earnestly chose the spicy Sichuan stewed fish.

Seeing that smug, punchable expression of his already made me feel dejected, I believed what he was saying was ninety-nine percent true. But I needed to see it with my own eyes, I needed to see that Xiao Huaisu has really accepted. What was that saying again… "setting out to conquer, yet dying before the victory has been had"—but I didn't even set out yet, I just died at the start.

I have to admit, under my influence, she has more than perfected the skill of rolling her eyes at me; and on the plump little face of a babe, the act of eye rolling was indescribably cute.

Huh? Xiao Huai Soo?


What's my problem? My best friend just secretly became my love rival! I felt dizzy, so I grasped the bowl of tofu with both hands, not letting even the slightest change in Qiao Damai's expression get by me, hoping very much to find out this was just a prank he was playing on me. But, sadly, he was not. He was not playing around, and based on everything I knew about him, he was nothing but serious when he shared his happiness with me. Besides that, the look in his eyes told me this joy of his was not mixed with any form of deceit or his own self-satisfaction. So for the sake of keeping this harmonious and beautiful friendship of ours from being pulverized, and in an attempt to save it, I sincerely—and cordially, advised him: "You're not a good match."

Anyway, seeing I was frozen in place, Qiao Damai's face wore a "Oh, it is really like that" sort of expression, with him then chuckling as he added: "Well, since that's the case, you don't stand a chance. I already confessed to her on WeChat and I'm seventy percent sure she'll agree to it."


Truthfully speaking, I had no clue if they were a good match or not, after all, I'm not a parasite in Xiao Huaisu's tummy, so I have no idea what goes on in his head. My saying all this was simply due to my own teensy morsel of selfishness. My wish of not wanting to become mortal enemies with my friend over some feelings, was my small selfish wish. Even though it's said fallouts and such due to love are the norm regardless of whether it is in real life or in the movies, I did not want to lose Qiao Damai. And to be honest, the Sichuan spicy fish stew he makes is the most delicious thing I've ever had in this world. So just the thought that I may never be able to have his Sichuan stew fish again fills my heart with pain—and makes my head feel even more dizzy!

While my own face was riddled with pure despair, I watched Qiao Damai open WeChat, then tap on the profile pic of a female student named Xiao Huaisoo.

"…"

Qiao Damai never actually thought I would really give up on Xiao Huaisoo; so, begrudgingly, he added: "You know, she's a really awesome girl, yet you would actually throw her away—just for a pot stewed fish? Li Tian, you are a beast!" He paused, then corrected, "No…you're worse than a beast!"

But it was clear Li You didn't want to respond to me again, choosing to instead roll her eyes.

"What…'okay', seriously? An extreme foodie like you is actually willing to give up spicy Sichuan stewed fish?!" Qiao Damai looked at me in disbelief.


Qiao Damai hesitated, disbelief slowly creeping onto his face before he then looked at me and asked: "Could it be…that you like Huaisoo too?" before revealing a bitter-sweet expression afterwards. Then with a sigh, he added: "Well, she is rather incredible. So a her being loved and pursued by a bunch of different people is only a given." After saying this, a giggle escaped him. The kind of giggle that only people drowning in happiness can possess.

It was early October, however the weather was still quite warm. I didn't have much of an appetite since morning, but upon giving it a second thought I decided to have a bowl of cheap and affordable tofu pudding—the sweet kind.

This prompted Li You to turn to the group, before telling them in a rather indifferent tone: "He is not my father. My father is over there." Her little pointing finger, completely screwing me over.

Back when Xiao Huaisu tutored me, the only thing we had exchanged was each other's QQ messenger info. I was only added on his QQ! But Qiao Damai was actually added on his WeChat! *Beats chest!* I want to die—I just want to die!!!!!!!!!!!! How the hell did those two get so close so damn fast? How long has Xiao Huaisu been back in the country, huh? Yet he's already letting Qiao Damai fool around with him? Is Xiao Huaisu someone that is easy to mess around with? If so, then he has no integrity at all!! I'm so disappointed in him—he let me down so much!

What's my problem? My best friend just secretly became my love rival! I felt dizzy, so I grasped the bowl of tofu with both hands, not letting even the slightest change in Qiao Damai's expression get by me, hoping very much to find out this was just a prank he was playing on me. But, sadly, he was not. He was not playing around, and based on everything I knew about him, he was nothing but serious when he shared his happiness with me. Besides that, the look in his eyes told me this joy of his was not mixed with any form of deceit or his own self-satisfaction. So for the sake of keeping this harmonious and beautiful friendship of ours from being pulverized, and in an attempt to save it, I sincerely—and cordially, advised him: "You're not a good match."

I shook my head, correcting: "No no no! I mean, for the sake of your spicy Sichuan stewed fish, I will give up on becoming your rival in love."


After I heard it, I was left stunned. Can such a feeling be seen? Is it that obvious that I'm hiding such feelings deep inside? Or is he just saying the improper thoughts I have towards Xiao Huaisu are so deep they're obvious but I'm the only one who isn't aware that they are? But this secret love of mine has been fermenting for four years now, even if it's been put in a wine cellar, I guess it would be impossible to hold back the scent of its courtship, and maybe a brute like Qiao Damai could sense it at a glance. As you would expect, I used such reasoning to comfort myself.

Just the thought of Xiao Huaisu walking in here right away made my legs freeze. As a reflex, I crouched down between the cubicles while Li You stared at me with an incredulous look, her legs bobbing as they swung. Both of our were eyes locked onto the other's, having no idea what to do, so I then motioned towards her: Shhh—

Just the thought of Xiao Huaisu walking in here right away made my legs freeze. As a reflex, I crouched down between the cubicles while Li You stared at me with an incredulous look, her legs bobbing as they swung. Both of our were eyes locked onto the other's, having no idea what to do, so I then motioned towards her: Shhh—

To be honest, since I found out I have this strange body that can be impregnated and give birth, I began to suspect time and time again that this world might actually be someone's sexual fantasy brought to life.


But back to the matter at hand, was Qiao Damai planning to use some kind of special cheat? Or… is he planning to slip Xiao Huaisu a love potion of some kind? Yeah, it's definitely going to be a love potion… Otherwise, there is no way I would believe this has any possibility of being real.

"Your daughter looks so much like you, Professor Xiao, really pretty and cute." This voice should belong to the female Art Appreciation professor. She is always going on about how much she wanted a daughter, but instead she had given birth two sons in succession. So whenever she caught sight of one of her colleague's daughter, she couldn't stop herself from gushing.


To be honest, since I found out I have this strange body that can be impregnated and give birth, I began to suspect time and time again that this world might actually be someone's sexual fantasy brought to life.

Proudly pulling out his phone, Qiao Damai then said: "So you're not going to give up until all hope is lost, huh?"

Just the thought of Xiao Huaisu walking in here right away made my legs freeze. As a reflex, I crouched down between the cubicles while Li You stared at me with an incredulous look, her legs bobbing as they swung. Both of our were eyes locked onto the other's, having no idea what to do, so I then motioned towards her: Shhh—

"What…'okay', seriously? An extreme foodie like you is actually willing to give up spicy Sichuan stewed fish?!" Qiao Damai looked at me in disbelief.


Anyway, seeing I was frozen in place, Qiao Damai's face wore a "Oh, it is really like that" sort of expression, with him then chuckling as he added: "Well, since that's the case, you don't stand a chance. I already confessed to her on WeChat and I'm seventy percent sure she'll agree to it."

This prompted Li You to turn to the group, before telling them in a rather indifferent tone: "He is not my father. My father is over there." Her little pointing finger, completely screwing me over.

To which I replied: "Okay."

"What…'okay', seriously? An extreme foodie like you is actually willing to give up spicy Sichuan stewed fish?!" Qiao Damai looked at me in disbelief.


My face was covered in pure shock. I had no way of keeping up with this guy's pace. Furiously setting the tofu pudding on the table, I then sneered: "You move real fast, don't ya? Not only did you keep all this a secret, you even got yourself added on WeChat! You're so—" I originally wanted to say 'so shameless', but is it really that wrong for Qiao Damai to muster up the courage to pursue his love? No, it's not! So I corrected myself, adding: "…so mean!" instead.

To which I then innocently replied: "Is it so wrong to be young?"

Huh? Xiao Huai Soo?

In response, Qiao Damai angrily shook his phone and bellowed: "You aren't allowed to like Xiao Huaisoo! Or else you can just forget ever eating my Sichuan stewed fish ever again!"

I shook my head, correcting: "No no no! I mean, for the sake of your spicy Sichuan stewed fish, I will give up on becoming your rival in love."

In response Li You looked at me, then said: "Can't you act a bit more mature?"


Back when Xiao Huaisu tutored me, the only thing we had exchanged was each other's QQ messenger info. I was only added on his QQ! But Qiao Damai was actually added on his WeChat! *Beats chest!* I want to die—I just want to die!!!!!!!!!!!! How the hell did those two get so close so damn fast? How long has Xiao Huaisu been back in the country, huh? Yet he's already letting Qiao Damai fool around with him? Is Xiao Huaisu someone that is easy to mess around with? If so, then he has no integrity at all!! I'm so disappointed in him—he let me down so much!

But back to the matter at hand, was Qiao Damai planning to use some kind of special cheat? Or… is he planning to slip Xiao Huaisu a love potion of some kind? Yeah, it's definitely going to be a love potion… Otherwise, there is no way I would believe this has any possibility of being real.


"Heheheh… Oh no, you just don't understand. This, my boy, is what's called 'striking first to gain the upper hand or risk suffering a loss later'. The path of relationships is simply this cruel, and big brother has taught you a valuable lesson today. If you like someone, you have to take the initiative! What use is there in secretly loving someone from a distance? Will anything ever come of it?"

It's Xiao Huaisu—EEK!

In response Li You looked at me, then said: "Can't you act a bit more mature?"

Tiny note about the names. Male: 萧怀肃: Xiāo HuáisùFemale: 肖淮粟: Xiāo Huáisù (translated as Xiao Huaisoo)They are perfect homophones, which is why there was a mix up until Li Tian saw how her name is written along with her face. Plus, the pronouns for 'her' and 'him' also sound the same too (tā), so neither knew the other was talking about a man or a woman.[] The infamous grass/flower gets a new master; grass is for men, flower is for women; and it means the famous beauty or stud has gotten themselves a partner and are off the market.[] 上岗: shàng gǎng: аssigned a position/job/post, here refers to being an official partner, but in the last line he uses the similar sounding 上肛:shàng gāng, in which the gang used here means 'anus', as to say all he was, was a piece of аss/a quick lay. I did my best to keep any semblance of the wordplay here, position (title) vs being held in the position (i.e. missionary, etc).[] 出师未捷身先死: it's part of a poem "Shu Xiang" by Du Fu, the basic meaning is putting in the effort but getting axed before seeing if it pays off. It's about this infamous regent and military strategist guy, Zhuge Liang, who fought against his enemy, the Kingdom of Wei, for many years unsuccessfully during the Three Kingdoms period; but after many long аss battles he got sick and died at the age of 53. []The poem with the translation here if you are curious.

Truthfully speaking, I had no clue if they were a good match or not, after all, I'm not a parasite in Xiao Huaisu's tummy, so I have no idea what goes on in his head. My saying all this was simply due to my own teensy morsel of selfishness. My wish of not wanting to become mortal enemies with my friend over some feelings, was my small selfish wish. Even though it's said fallouts and such due to love are the norm regardless of whether it is in real life or in the movies, I did not want to lose Qiao Damai. And to be honest, the Sichuan spicy fish stew he makes is the most delicious thing I've ever had in this world. So just the thought that I may never be able to have his Sichuan stew fish again fills my heart with pain—and makes my head feel even more dizzy!

Seeing that smug, punchable expression of his already made me feel dejected, I believed what he was saying was ninety-nine percent true. But I needed to see it with my own eyes, I needed to see that Xiao Huaisu has really accepted. What was that saying again… "setting out to conquer, yet dying before the victory has been had"—but I didn't even set out yet, I just died at the start.


In truth, I thought what Qiao Damai said was true. What use is there in loving someone else in secret? And why the hell did I just realise this today? Now it's too late for me to say anything, and that infamous once unattainable grass on the other side is about to gain a new master[1]; and that kid of mine is about to gain a step-father. In the future, if Li You and Xiao Huaisu get to know one another, Qiao Damai will then become her step-father and my relationship with him will become that of he who is the ex versus he who is the current partner…no, that's wrong, Qiao Damai will at least hold the position of partner while I never had any position to begin with, except for getting held in the position[2].

   *Sent 30 minutes ago*

This prompted Li You to turn to the group, before telling them in a rather indifferent tone: "He is not my father. My father is over there." Her little pointing finger, completely screwing me over.

In response, Qiao Damai angrily shook his phone and bellowed: "You aren't allowed to like Xiao Huaisoo! Or else you can just forget ever eating my Sichuan stewed fish ever again!"


After undergoing this fierce psychological battle, I absolutely cannot give up! So in a stern voice, I said to him: "Shut up already. If you want me to back down, you need to prove he really did agree to your proposal. That way I'll believe this isn't just a load of crap you made up."

My face was covered in pure shock. I had no way of keeping up with this guy's pace. Furiously setting the tofu pudding on the table, I then sneered: "You move real fast, don't ya? Not only did you keep all this a secret, you even got yourself added on WeChat! You're so—" I originally wanted to say 'so shameless', but is it really that wrong for Qiao Damai to muster up the courage to pursue his love? No, it's not! So I corrected myself, adding: "…so mean!" instead.

Qiao Damai never actually thought I would really give up on Xiao Huaisoo; so, begrudgingly, he added: "You know, she's a really awesome girl, yet you would actually throw her away—just for a pot stewed fish? Li Tian, you are a beast!" He paused, then corrected, "No…you're worse than a beast!"

In response, Qiao Damai angrily shook his phone and bellowed: "You aren't allowed to like Xiao Huaisoo! Or else you can just forget ever eating my Sichuan stewed fish ever again!"


Proudly pulling out his phone, Qiao Damai then said: "So you're not going to give up until all hope is lost, huh?"

But it doesn't matter to me if he believes me me or not, I earnestly chose the spicy Sichuan stewed fish.

"Your daughter looks so much like you, Professor Xiao, really pretty and cute." This voice should belong to the female Art Appreciation professor. She is always going on about how much she wanted a daughter, but instead she had given birth two sons in succession. So whenever she caught sight of one of her colleague's daughter, she couldn't stop herself from gushing.

To which I replied: "Okay."

Truthfully speaking, I had no clue if they were a good match or not, after all, I'm not a parasite in Xiao Huaisu's tummy, so I have no idea what goes on in his head. My saying all this was simply due to my own teensy morsel of selfishness. My wish of not wanting to become mortal enemies with my friend over some feelings, was my small selfish wish. Even though it's said fallouts and such due to love are the norm regardless of whether it is in real life or in the movies, I did not want to lose Qiao Damai. And to be honest, the Sichuan spicy fish stew he makes is the most delicious thing I've ever had in this world. So just the thought that I may never be able to have his Sichuan stew fish again fills my heart with pain—and makes my head feel even more dizzy!

  ——Qiao Damai: Huaisoo, I came to the realisation that I've fallen for you.


Seeing that smug, punchable expression of his already made me feel dejected, I believed what he was saying was ninety-nine percent true. But I needed to see it with my own eyes, I needed to see that Xiao Huaisu has really accepted. What was that saying again… "setting out to conquer, yet dying before the victory has been had[3]"—but I didn't even set out yet, I just died at the start.

Later at the office, Professor Yan wasn't back as yet, but it was still early so I made Li You take a seat on one of the chairs lining the walls of the corridor to rest, while I went inside to put my thousand lines of 'I will not be absentminded in class' on Professor Yan's desk. I was planning to head out right after and sit with Li You, but out of nowhere I heard someone from outside saying: "Huaisu, let's have dinner tonight at—"

But it was clear Li You didn't want to respond to me again, choosing to instead roll her eyes.

   *Sent 30 minutes ago*


While my own face was riddled with pure despair, I watched Qiao Damai open WeChat, then tap on the profile pic of a female student named Xiao Huaisoo.

N/A


  ——Qiao Damai: Huaisoo, I came to the realisation that I've fallen for you.

I have to admit, under my influence, she has more than perfected the skill of rolling her eyes at me; and on the plump little face of a babe, the act of eye rolling was indescribably cute.

Seeing that smug, punchable expression of his already made me feel dejected, I believed what he was saying was ninety-nine percent true. But I needed to see it with my own eyes, I needed to see that Xiao Huaisu has really accepted. What was that saying again… "setting out to conquer, yet dying before the victory has been had"—but I didn't even set out yet, I just died at the start.

I shook my head, correcting: "No no no! I mean, for the sake of your spicy Sichuan stewed fish, I will give up on becoming your rival in love."


  ——Qiao Damai: Would you like to be my girlfriend?

Tiny note about the names. Male: 萧怀肃: Xiāo Huáisù
Female: 肖淮粟: Xiāo Huáisù (translated as Xiao Huaisoo)
They are perfect homophones, which is why there was a mix up until Li Tian saw how her name is written along with her face. Plus, the pronouns for 'her' and 'him' also sound the same too (tā), so neither knew the other was talking about a man or a woman.[] The infamous grass/flower gets a new master; grass is for men, flower is for women; and it means the famous beauty or stud has gotten themselves a partner and are off the market.[] 上岗: shàng gǎng: аssigned a position/job/post, here refers to being an official partner, but in the last line he uses the similar sounding 上肛:shàng gāng, in which the gang used here means 'anus', as to say all he was, was a piece of аss/a quick lay. I did my best to keep any semblance of the wordplay here, position (title) vs being held in the position (i.e. missionary, etc).[] 出师未捷身先死: it's part of a poem "Shu Xiang" by Du Fu, the basic meaning is putting in the effort but getting axed before seeing if it pays off. It's about this infamous regent and military strategist guy, Zhuge Liang, who fought against his enemy, the Kingdom of Wei, for many years unsuccessfully during the Three Kingdoms period; but after many long аss battles he got sick and died at the age of 53. []The poem with the translation here if you are curious.

Later at the office, Professor Yan wasn't back as yet, but it was still early so I made Li You take a seat on one of the chairs lining the walls of the corridor to rest, while I went inside to put my thousand lines of 'I will not be absentminded in class' on Professor Yan's desk. I was planning to head out right after and sit with Li You, but out of nowhere I heard someone from outside saying: "Huaisu, let's have dinner tonight at—"

N/A


   *Sent 30 minutes ago*

Qiao Damai never actually thought I would really give up on Xiao Huaisoo; so, begrudgingly, he added: "You know, she's a really awesome girl, yet you would actually throw her away—just for a pot stewed fish? Li Tian, you are a beast!" He paused, then corrected, "No…you're worse than a beast!"


 ——Xiao Huaisoo: Sorry, but I already have someone I like.

In truth, I thought what Qiao Damai said was true. What use is there in loving someone else in secret? And why the hell did I just realise this today? Now it's too late for me to say anything, and that infamous once unattainable grass on the other side is about to gain a new master; and that kid of mine is about to gain a step-father. In the future, if Li You and Xiao Huaisu get to know one another, Qiao Damai will then become her step-father and my relationship with him will become that of he who is the ex versus he who is the current partner…no, that's wrong, Qiao Damai will at least hold the position of partner while I never had any position to begin with, except for getting held in the position.

Despite my being called 'worse than a beast', I still looked at him with a happy smile smeared across my face. Qiao Damai followed up by saying he didn't believe it would be so easy for me to give up on Xiao Huaisoo, since before I had clearly expressed a 'I will not anyone marry anyone other than them' sort of attitude, while at current I had refused and gave up immediately for a pot of stewed fish. All of which killed his trust.

Back when Xiao Huaisu tutored me, the only thing we had exchanged was each other's QQ messenger info. I was only added on his QQ! But Qiao Damai was actually added on his WeChat! *Beats chest!* I want to die—I just want to die!!!!!!!!!!!! How the hell did those two get so close so damn fast? How long has Xiao Huaisu been back in the country, huh? Yet he's already letting Qiao Damai fool around with him? Is Xiao Huaisu someone that is easy to mess around with? If so, then he has no integrity at all!! I'm so disappointed in him—he let me down so much!


Huh? Xiao Huai Soo?

To be honest, since I found out I have this strange body that can be impregnated and give birth, I began to suspect time and time again that this world might actually be someone's sexual fantasy brought to life.


Although Qiao Damai sacrificed himself for the good of all by rendering his confession, all of my attention was fixed on the name Xiao Huaisoo, before finally revealing a most brilliant grin as I looked towards Qiao Damai.

Despite my being called 'worse than a beast', I still looked at him with a happy smile smeared across my face. Qiao Damai followed up by saying he didn't believe it would be so easy for me to give up on Xiao Huaisoo, since before I had clearly expressed a 'I will not anyone marry anyone other than them' sort of attitude, while at current I had refused and gave up immediately for a pot of stewed fish. All of which killed his trust.

This is Professor Xiao's daughter

While my own face was riddled with pure despair, I watched Qiao Damai open WeChat, then tap on the profile pic of a female student named Xiao Huaisoo.


From the look of Qiao Damai's face, it was clear he was struggling to accept it. So, for a long time, he just kept staring at his phone, seeming as if he wanted to burn a hole through the little device's screen, then mumbled: "This is impossible… This can't be… I, I clearly felt that there was some chemistry between us…"

Back when Xiao Huaisu tutored me, the only thing we had exchanged was each other's QQ messenger info. I was only added on his QQ! But Qiao Damai was actually added on his WeChat! *Beats chest!* I want to die—I just want to die!!!!!!!!!!!! How the hell did those two get so close so damn fast? How long has Xiao Huaisu been back in the country, huh? Yet he's already letting Qiao Damai fool around with him? Is Xiao Huaisu someone that is easy to mess around with? If so, then he has no integrity at all!! I'm so disappointed in him—he let me down so much!


Now it was my turn to grin ear to ear as I said to him: "Well, it turns out there are times when loving someone in secret is better than striking first just to lose. After all, you already lost your shot, but I still have mine." Even though the one I liked was Xiao Huaisu, and not Xiao Huaisoo.

Because of this, when I went to find Professor Yan in the office, Li You had tagged along at my right, which made everyone who knew me—without exception—upon seeing Li You gush: "Li Tian, you have such a cute little sister!" proving it was not a misunderstanding. So later, when no one was around, I chimed at Li You happily: "You see that? No one thinks I'm your dad, and it must be because I look younger than I am."

Just the thought of Xiao Huaisu walking in here right away made my legs freeze. As a reflex, I crouched down between the cubicles while Li You stared at me with an incredulous look, her legs bobbing as they swung. Both of our were eyes locked onto the other's, having no idea what to do, so I then motioned towards her: Shhh—

Huh? Xiao Huai Soo?

Huh? Xiao Huai Soo?

Proudly pulling out his phone, Qiao Damai then said: "So you're not going to give up until all hope is lost, huh?"


In response, Qiao Damai angrily shook his phone and bellowed: "You aren't allowed to like Xiao Huaisoo! Or else you can just forget ever eating my Sichuan stewed fish ever again!"

Huh? Xiao Huai Soo?


To which I replied: "Okay."

After undergoing this fierce psychological battle, I absolutely cannot give up! So in a stern voice, I said to him: "Shut up already. If you want me to back down, you need to prove he really did agree to your proposal. That way I'll believe this isn't just a load of crap you made up."


"What…'okay', seriously? An extreme foodie like you is actually willing to give up spicy Sichuan stewed fish?!" Qiao Damai looked at me in disbelief.

"…"

 ——Xiao Huaisoo: Sorry, but I already have someone I like.

From the look of Qiao Damai's face, it was clear he was struggling to accept it. So, for a long time, he just kept staring at his phone, seeming as if he wanted to burn a hole through the little device's screen, then mumbled: "This is impossible… This can't be… I, I clearly felt that there was some chemistry between us…"

Despite my being called 'worse than a beast', I still looked at him with a happy smile smeared across my face. Qiao Damai followed up by saying he didn't believe it would be so easy for me to give up on Xiao Huaisoo, since before I had clearly expressed a 'I will not anyone marry anyone other than them' sort of attitude, while at current I had refused and gave up immediately for a pot of stewed fish. All of which killed his trust.

In response, Qiao Damai angrily shook his phone and bellowed: "You aren't allowed to like Xiao Huaisoo! Or else you can just forget ever eating my Sichuan stewed fish ever again!"


I shook my head, correcting: "No no no! I mean, for the sake of your spicy Sichuan stewed fish, I will give up on becoming your rival in love."

 ——Xiao Huaisoo: Sorry, but I already have someone I like.

In truth, I thought what Qiao Damai said was true. What use is there in loving someone else in secret? And why the hell did I just realise this today? Now it's too late for me to say anything, and that infamous once unattainable grass on the other side is about to gain a new master; and that kid of mine is about to gain a step-father. In the future, if Li You and Xiao Huaisu get to know one another, Qiao Damai will then become her step-father and my relationship with him will become that of he who is the ex versus he who is the current partner…no, that's wrong, Qiao Damai will at least hold the position of partner while I never had any position to begin with, except for getting held in the position.

But it was clear Li You didn't want to respond to me again, choosing to instead roll her eyes.


Qiao Damai never actually thought I would really give up on Xiao Huaisoo; so, begrudgingly, he added: "You know, she's a really awesome girl, yet you would actually throw her away—just for a pot stewed fish? Li Tian, you are a beast!" He paused, then corrected, "No…you're worse than a beast!"

I shook my head, correcting: "No no no! I mean, for the sake of your spicy Sichuan stewed fish, I will give up on becoming your rival in love."


"…"

In response Li You looked at me, then said: "Can't you act a bit more mature?"


Despite my being called 'worse than a beast', I still looked at him with a happy smile smeared across my face. Qiao Damai followed up by saying he didn't believe it would be so easy for me to give up on Xiao Huaisoo, since before I had clearly expressed a 'I will not anyone marry anyone other than them' sort of attitude, while at current I had refused and gave up immediately for a pot of stewed fish. All of which killed his trust.

But it was clear Li You didn't want to respond to me again, choosing to instead roll her eyes.

But back to the matter at hand, was Qiao Damai planning to use some kind of special cheat? Or… is he planning to slip Xiao Huaisu a love potion of some kind? Yeah, it's definitely going to be a love potion… Otherwise, there is no way I would believe this has any possibility of being real.

In truth, I thought what Qiao Damai said was true. What use is there in loving someone else in secret? And why the hell did I just realise this today? Now it's too late for me to say anything, and that infamous once unattainable grass on the other side is about to gain a new master; and that kid of mine is about to gain a step-father. In the future, if Li You and Xiao Huaisu get to know one another, Qiao Damai will then become her step-father and my relationship with him will become that of he who is the ex versus he who is the current partner…no, that's wrong, Qiao Damai will at least hold the position of partner while I never had any position to begin with, except for getting held in the position.


But it doesn't matter to me if he believes me me or not, I earnestly chose the spicy Sichuan stewed fish.

Truthfully speaking, I had no clue if they were a good match or not, after all, I'm not a parasite in Xiao Huaisu's tummy, so I have no idea what goes on in his head. My saying all this was simply due to my own teensy morsel of selfishness. My wish of not wanting to become mortal enemies with my friend over some feelings, was my small selfish wish. Even though it's said fallouts and such due to love are the norm regardless of whether it is in real life or in the movies, I did not want to lose Qiao Damai. And to be honest, the Sichuan spicy fish stew he makes is the most delicious thing I've ever had in this world. So just the thought that I may never be able to have his Sichuan stew fish again fills my heart with pain—and makes my head feel even more dizzy!


And with that, two days soon passed by, and it was now a Friday's morn. The plan was to have Madam Lee Moli go pick up Li You from the kindergarten this afternoon then have Li You spend the entire weekend with her grandparents afterwards, but that afternoon, Lee Moli called and told me she had a last minute square-dancing rehearsal to attend so she would be bringing Li You here to me first and then I would take Li You to their place later in the evening.

After I heard it, I was left stunned. Can such a feeling be seen? Is it that obvious that I'm hiding such feelings deep inside? Or is he just saying the improper thoughts I have towards Xiao Huaisu are so deep they're obvious but I'm the only one who isn't aware that they are? But this secret love of mine has been fermenting for four years now, even if it's been put in a wine cellar, I guess it would be impossible to hold back the scent of its courtship, and maybe a brute like Qiao Damai could sense it at a glance. As you would expect, I used such reasoning to comfort myself.

This prompted Li You to turn to the group, before telling them in a rather indifferent tone: "He is not my father. My father is over there." Her little pointing finger, completely screwing me over.

  ——Qiao Damai: Would you like to be my girlfriend?


Because of this, when I went to find Professor Yan in the office, Li You had tagged along at my right, which made everyone who knew me—without exception—upon seeing Li You gush: "Li Tian, you have such a cute little sister!" proving it was not a misunderstanding. So later, when no one was around, I chimed at Li You happily: "You see that? No one thinks I'm your dad, and it must be because I look younger than I am."

Although Qiao Damai sacrificed himself for the good of all by rendering his confession, all of my attention was fixed on the name Xiao Huaisoo, before finally revealing a most brilliant grin as I looked towards Qiao Damai.

After undergoing this fierce psychological battle, I absolutely cannot give up! So in a stern voice, I said to him: "Shut up already. If you want me to back down, you need to prove he really did agree to your proposal. That way I'll believe this isn't just a load of crap you made up."

Because of this, when I went to find Professor Yan in the office, Li You had tagged along at my right, which made everyone who knew me—without exception—upon seeing Li You gush: "Li Tian, you have such a cute little sister!" proving it was not a misunderstanding. So later, when no one was around, I chimed at Li You happily: "You see that? No one thinks I'm your dad, and it must be because I look younger than I am."

From the sound of things, it seems like a few people had all just walked in together, including one who then said in amazement: "Professor Xiao, is this your daughter?"

It's Xiao Huaisu—EEK!


In response Li You looked at me, then said: "Can't you act a bit more mature?"

  ——Qiao Damai: Would you like to be my girlfriend?

I shook my head, correcting: "No no no! I mean, for the sake of your spicy Sichuan stewed fish, I will give up on becoming your rival in love."

"Heheheh… Oh no, you just don't understand. This, my boy, is what's called 'striking first to gain the upper hand or risk suffering a loss later'. The path of relationships is simply this cruel, and big brother has taught you a valuable lesson today. If you like someone, you have to take the initiative! What use is there in secretly loving someone from a distance? Will anything ever come of it?"


To which I then innocently replied: "Is it so wrong to be young?"

Seeing that smug, punchable expression of his already made me feel dejected, I believed what he was saying was ninety-nine percent true. But I needed to see it with my own eyes, I needed to see that Xiao Huaisu has really accepted. What was that saying again… "setting out to conquer, yet dying before the victory has been had"—but I didn't even set out yet, I just died at the start.


But it was clear Li You didn't want to respond to me again, choosing to instead roll her eyes.

Now it was my turn to grin ear to ear as I said to him: "Well, it turns out there are times when loving someone in secret is better than striking first just to lose. After all, you already lost your shot, but I still have mine." Even though the one I liked was Xiao Huaisu, and not Xiao Huaisoo.

To which I then innocently replied: "Is it so wrong to be young?"

Just the thought of Xiao Huaisu walking in here right away made my legs freeze. As a reflex, I crouched down between the cubicles while Li You stared at me with an incredulous look, her legs bobbing as they swung. Both of our were eyes locked onto the other's, having no idea what to do, so I then motioned towards her: Shhh—


I have to admit, under my influence, she has more than perfected the skill of rolling her eyes at me; and on the plump little face of a babe, the act of eye rolling was indescribably cute.

So when I was at the cafeteria, sitting by the window and simply enjoying looking at the coming and goings of the couples who came to eat breakfast with one another, Qiao Damai came up to me and told me he may have fallen in love with Xiao Huaisu. Thus, in that very moment, I lost control and spat the spoonful of tofu in my mouth directly on his his forehead, making him wipe away the glob I just shot at his face with disgust before he griped: "What the hell is your problem?"

Proudly pulling out his phone, Qiao Damai then said: "So you're not going to give up until all hope is lost, huh?"

What's my problem? My best friend just secretly became my love rival! I felt dizzy, so I grasped the bowl of tofu with both hands, not letting even the slightest change in Qiao Damai's expression get by me, hoping very much to find out this was just a prank he was playing on me. But, sadly, he was not. He was not playing around, and based on everything I knew about him, he was nothing but serious when he shared his happiness with me. Besides that, the look in his eyes told me this joy of his was not mixed with any form of deceit or his own self-satisfaction. So for the sake of keeping this harmonious and beautiful friendship of ours from being pulverized, and in an attempt to save it, I sincerely—and cordially, advised him: "You're not a good match."


Later at the office, Professor Yan wasn't back as yet, but it was still early so I made Li You take a seat on one of the chairs lining the walls of the corridor to rest, while I went inside to put my thousand lines of 'I will not be absentminded in class' on Professor Yan's desk. I was planning to head out right after and sit with Li You, but out of nowhere I heard someone from outside saying: "Huaisu, let's have dinner tonight at—"

  ——Qiao Damai: Huaisoo, I came to the realisation that I've fallen for you.


It's Xiao Huaisu—EEK!

Qiao Damai hesitated, disbelief slowly creeping onto his face before he then looked at me and asked: "Could it be…that you like Huaisoo too?" before revealing a bitter-sweet expression afterwards. Then with a sigh, he added: "Well, she is rather incredible. So a her being loved and pursued by a bunch of different people is only a given." After saying this, a giggle escaped him. The kind of giggle that only people drowning in happiness can possess.

   *Sent 30 minutes ago*

 ——Xiao Huaisoo: Sorry, but I already have someone I like.

Now it was my turn to grin ear to ear as I said to him: "Well, it turns out there are times when loving someone in secret is better than striking first just to lose. After all, you already lost your shot, but I still have mine." Even though the one I liked was Xiao Huaisu, and not Xiao Huaisoo.

  ——Qiao Damai: Huaisoo, I came to the realisation that I've fallen for you.


Just the thought of Xiao Huaisu walking in here right away made my legs freeze. As a reflex, I crouched down between the cubicles while Li You stared at me with an incredulous look, her legs bobbing as they swung. Both of our were eyes locked onto the other's, having no idea what to do, so I then motioned towards her: Shhh—

"What…'okay', seriously? An extreme foodie like you is actually willing to give up spicy Sichuan stewed fish?!" Qiao Damai looked at me in disbelief.

Seeing that smug, punchable expression of his already made me feel dejected, I believed what he was saying was ninety-nine percent true. But I needed to see it with my own eyes, I needed to see that Xiao Huaisu has really accepted. What was that saying again… "setting out to conquer, yet dying before the victory has been had"—but I didn't even set out yet, I just died at the start.

To be honest, since I found out I have this strange body that can be impregnated and give birth, I began to suspect time and time again that this world might actually be someone's sexual fantasy brought to life.


From the sound of things, it seems like a few people had all just walked in together, including one who then said in amazement: "Professor Xiao, is this your daughter?"

This is Professor Xiao's daughter

To which I replied: "Okay."

My face was covered in pure shock. I had no way of keeping up with this guy's pace. Furiously setting the tofu pudding on the table, I then sneered: "You move real fast, don't ya? Not only did you keep all this a secret, you even got yourself added on WeChat! You're so—" I originally wanted to say 'so shameless', but is it really that wrong for Qiao Damai to muster up the courage to pursue his love? No, it's not! So I corrected myself, adding: "…so mean!" instead.

And with that, two days soon passed by, and it was now a Friday's morn. The plan was to have Madam Lee Moli go pick up Li You from the kindergarten this afternoon then have Li You spend the entire weekend with her grandparents afterwards, but that afternoon, Lee Moli called and told me she had a last minute square-dancing rehearsal to attend so she would be bringing Li You here to me first and then I would take Li You to their place later in the evening.

Qiao Damai never actually thought I would really give up on Xiao Huaisoo; so, begrudgingly, he added: "You know, she's a really awesome girl, yet you would actually throw her away—just for a pot stewed fish? Li Tian, you are a beast!" He paused, then corrected, "No…you're worse than a beast!"


"Your daughter looks so much like you, Professor Xiao, really pretty and cute." This voice should belong to the female Art Appreciation professor. She is always going on about how much she wanted a daughter, but instead she had given birth two sons in succession. So whenever she caught sight of one of her colleague's daughter, she couldn't stop herself from gushing.

In response, Qiao Damai angrily shook his phone and bellowed: "You aren't allowed to like Xiao Huaisoo! Or else you can just forget ever eating my Sichuan stewed fish ever again!"


This prompted Li You to turn to the group, before telling them in a rather indifferent tone: "He is not my father. My father is over there." Her little pointing finger, completely screwing me over.

To which I replied: "Okay."


Author's Note:

N/A



Notes:

Tiny note about the names. Male: 萧怀肃: Xiāo Huáisù
Female: 肖淮粟: Xiāo Huáisù (translated as Xiao Huaisoo)
They are perfect homophones, which is why there was a mix up until Li Tian saw how her name is written along with her face. Plus, the pronouns for 'her' and 'him' also sound the same too (tā), so neither knew the other was talking about a man or a woman.

^1. The infamous grass/flower gets a new master; grass is for men, flower is for women; and it means the famous beauty or stud has gotten themselves a partner and are off the market.

^2. 上岗: shàng gǎng: аssigned a position/job/post, here refers to being an official partner, but in the last line he uses the similar sounding 上肛:shàng gāng, in which the gang used here means 'anus', as to say all he was, was a piece of аss/a quick lay. I did my best to keep any semblance of the wordplay here, position (title) vs being held in {the} position (i.e. missionary, etc).

^3. 出师未捷身先死: it's part of a poem "Shu Xiang" by Du Fu, the basic meaning is putting in the effort but getting axed before seeing if it pays off. It's about this infamous regent and military strategist guy, Zhuge Liang, who fought against his enemy, the Kingdom of Wei, for many years unsuccessfully during the Three Kingdoms period; but after many long аss battles he got sick and died at the age of 53.

The poem with the translation here if you are curious.


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